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Thanksgiving break has just come to an end and Christmas break is two weeks away! So, I hope to fill you in before we all head off in our separate directions. We are still living in our bamboo village, which has been rebuilt and added to. Two nights ago, we finished our bathhouse, which has three separate stalls and is actually the best structure we have built yet. We, the boys completely revamped our shelter and it is truly enjoyable to live in, I must say. We secured all the openings, straightened the frame, and tightened the roof, so it is far more water and wind proof than it has ever been. Our common tent is back loose condition, so we are currently devising a new plan to tighten the roof, so it doesn’t pool when it rains. I’m truly surprised it wasn’t destroyed over Thanksgiving break. When Josh and I came to check on the village when we arrive back, there were easily twenty gallons of water pooled on either side of the tarp. I’m very thankful Jesus held our village together over the break, so we were able to make the improvements, which we have done and will continue to do. Life has also become easier in the village; we are now blessed with cots, flushing toilets, and a real shower with hot water. And I know you RAD graduates, who may be reading this, appreciated these added amenities.
This past month has been really challenging, but the fruit I’m seeing makes it all worthwhile. God has really been smashing a lot of distorted and skewed ideas I have about His character. I know before Thanksgiving break, I was completely terrified to press into God and seek His heart for my life. I’ve always allowed my hurts and what others have said about me shape how I relate to God. Because I’ve been made fun of, pushed around, and walked all over, I assumed God would correct me and shape me in that same way. I totally viewed a relationship with God as a burdenful hardship, rather than a loving relationship. As a matter of fact, I was so chock full of ideas and things I’ve seen in other people and churches, that I wasn’t sure who God was, or if I was even saved! I would try to integrate all the things I saw through the lenses of other churches and people with my worldly programming and try to make sense of it all. And it never worked; as a matter of fact, it left me feeling frustrated, hopeless, and confused.
My view of salvation, and confirmation, thereof came in the first week of this month when Thomas and Christina Karst came to teach about the Tabernacle. Thomas explained what really happened when the veil tore—how Jesus provided direct access to the throne room of God, and man, that really hit home with me. It totally reversed everything I had ever thought about salvation and drawing near to God. What is more so, that God sees us through the blood of Jesus as atoned for, holy, and acceptable in His sight. Yes, this may sound like really basic Christian fundamental knowledge, but it is a whole different ball game when that head knowledge becomes heart knowledge. Another thing that really helped me solidify my ground is when a Pastor friend told me, “Yogi, why would Satan tell you that you are not saved, if indeed you were not?” With those two things considered, I finally had ground to stand on and believe I am a bought child of the Most High King.
Directly following the Tabernacle week, we had a “prayer counseling” week. God really followed up with the things I had learned in the previous week by getting to root of some of these distorted and skewed ideas. I prayed through my sexual past and Jesus really showed up stronger than He ever has in my whole life. He forgave all the attached sins, cast out any spirits contrary to Him, and destroyed the old thoughts and replaced them His thoughts. It was also huge because I caught a glimpse of the authority I have in Jesus. Matthew 16:19, which reads, “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven,” was totally shown to me that day. It is hard to believe our authority is that simple, yet I wonder why it is so hard to grasp sometime. I think if everyone believed that verse with their heart, the church and the world as we know it would never be the same.
The biggest thing I’ve seen come out of all of this is just how much of a negative track I’ve been on for so long. What I mean is, I hear things, see things, often say things, and think things pretty negatively. And even though I’ve been on that for some time, I look back and see God has been working in the midst of my weakness, even when I thought He was distant and silent. He was really pulling me away from myself so I could see the way I’ve lived, so He can heal it and show me how I can really live. It brings me back to a sermon my friend, Matt Bowden back home taught the first time that I attended his church plant, which concerned how God worked things out before we were saved and continues to do so even when we don’t see the evidence. I really serve a mighty God, who really is on my side and who really isn’t out to get me, but out to love me.
From the pattern that is developing here, I’d say God is really taking me into the depths of my heart and unearthing things I couldn’t see before because of my blind eyes and developing a path for me to tread, which will lead me to who He has made me to be. It is all together scary and joyful to delve into this healing and changing process and I can’t wait to go further, so keep this lifted up in your prayers and I really look forward to writing about all the awesome things God is going to do.
