02/28/08

I confess – I have kept myself hidden. I have had secrets that no one but God and I knew. They have been covered for twenty-two years. I chose not to share them. I believed that I could keep them inside and that they would not affect me. They were the untouchable part of me that I never, never unmasked for anyone. Not even for God.

Can you relate to secrets? I can. Secrets have so much power. Did you know that Satan lives in those secrets? I didn’t. I had no idea that every little corner in my heart where a little secret lived wasn’t innocent. That inside each secret was a LIE. A lie about who I am. A lie about who God is. That each lie was Satan’s dagger to twist deeper and deeper into my heart and mind. And that those lies had power – as long as they stayed secret, they would control me. That the purpose of those lies was to beat me, break me and defeat me. Satan cannot have my life, but through secrets and lies he can have my every thought and use every emotion. He can turn me into a mask struggling to keep the edges down and keep the secrets hidden.

I confessed – before God and my team here at RAD. The Holy Spirit put it on my heart that I needed to share these things. They are things that I have struggled with my entire life. I have turned them over to God more times than I can count, and always I have taken them back up again. Yesterday I took out all of the secrets. And I prayed – and for the first time in my life I spoke words of truth about myself and chose to believe them. I have heard before that I am God’s daughter, that I am forgiven, that I am chosen. You know – all of the things that we say in church. But I never spoke those things about myself from my own lips. Yesterday I declared them before God, my team and myself. I spoke the truth about who I am. I am free. I have no secrets. Satan has no more lies inside my heart that he can use to destroy me. He can still lie, and I can still choose to believe him, but it has to be my choice. I choose truth.

Proverbs 28:13-14 “He that covers his sin will not prosper; but he that confesses it and repents will find mercy. Blessed is the man who always fears God; but he that hardens his heart will fall into evil.”

As you can see, God is totally shaking up my life. He is doing crazy things and molding me in radical ways. I am six months into RAD and have three more months left. Right now I am on the road with my team. In about two weeks we will return to Gainesville and from there we will be sent out on internships for six to seven weeks. Thank you for participating with me in this journey that God is taking me on with your prayers and support. Please continue to keep me in your prayers for God to do huge stuff in my life and provide the support that I need to finish RAD.  God bless your families, your homes and lives and most of all your hearts to be totally transparent and open to His Holy Spirit.  

In His love,  

Katie